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There would be no J-Show, or Junior Show, without , especially if it’s one in which students commiserate over their collective victimization at the hands or, rather, wings of Jorge. 

The J-Show is an annual 69��Ʒ��Ƶ tradition in which the junior class writes and performs a collection of satirical skits poking fun at their fellow classmates, their professors and the 69��Ʒ��Ƶ community at large — including, of course, the . 

The junior class has put on the J-Show  (then called the Junior Play) in honor of graduating seniors. Since then it has entertained 69��Ʒ��Ƶ every year, even through pandemics, and this year was no exception. This year’s J-Show skits included a faux student emergency hotline, alleged arson and conspiracy theories. 

In a skit about Jorge, a student described recurring nightmares about his anserine antics. 

“The dreams would start out mundane, like I was taking a test or something, and then I would hear it — the honking!” they said as they flung their hands out dramatically to emphasize the severity of the situation.  

Later, the hotline skit took on the Wi-Fi and boyfriend problems that seemingly plagued the student population. A single harried student was the answerer, picking up calls with a banana that acted as a phone while an ironing board stood in front of her.

In response to a caller complaining about Wi-Fi problems, the hotline representative suggested that the issue might be an internal one.

“Have you ever considered that maybe you’re the problem?” she asked.

“Excuse me?” replied the caller indignantly. 

“All I’m saying is maybe this is a moment for some self-reflection. Repeat after me: ‘What am I doing to cause the Wi-Fi problem?’” advised the answerer with a sardonic smile.  

The next caller wanted to know how she could ask her best friend’s boyfriend on a date without being a jerk, though she used stronger language to describe herself. 

“Sweetie, sweetie. To answer your question, you cannot ask out your best friend’s partner without being a [jerk] because you are a [jerk],” the answerer yelled. 

But this wasn’t a satisfactory response for the hopeless yet clueless romantic caller. “I swear we could be soulmates! He always laughs at my bad jokes, and he looks at me when I speak. I mean, he’s so attentive and kind,” she moaned.

In another skit, conspiracy theories implicated not only Jorge the Goose but also the popular TV show “Gossip Girl.” The student introduced themselves with an unhinged Darth Vader–esque “accent” and wore a tinfoil hat as they explained that Jorge is actually a spy, and NASA adorned him in spyware designed by the agency. 

Several students also confessed that they were to blame for arson. One student wanted their girlfriend to move closer, but instead, she ended up dumping them. Fueled by their anger, they collected a pile of burning essay drafts and threw them into a building. But they weren’t the most successful arsonist.

It turns out that the fire was created on a Saturday, and that student had thrown the burning papers on a Friday.

“So I can’t even set a fire properly? Oh my God. I can’t do anything right!” the student shouted dramatically in response to their supposed ineptitude.    

As the J-Show closed and the cast took its bows, a neglected duck who’d complained during a skit that they felt like a “second-class duck” when compared to Jorge showed off its wings, and the audience clapped loudly.